– In Selma, televised violence touched the national consciousness for fairness and voting rights.
– A tragedy in my community brought new love and unity.
– My sickness over the holidays helped me to slow down, rest, review and renew.
– A client was treated so poorly by her lover, she finally walked away, which got his attention and changed everything.
– After years of exhausting Anger and distancing after her father left her, a woman is feeling sad and depressed for the first time (breakdown). This is opening her heart to re-connecting and forgiveness (breakthrough).

When you are down and vulnerable, it can bring you honesty, humility, clarity, and resurrection. We need the ability to more quickly connect what happens to us with its cause – so we can avoid negative consequences – and with its purpose – so we can use everything to learn from. How long will it take us to align the outcome that we want with the actions that we take? This is the evolutionary push in our changing times to bring us intuition.

How can you use this idea in a practical way? Start with the premise that every pain, every trouble, every difficulty, every problem is the universe’s challenge for you to learn grow and improve. So when something is happening that you absolutely do not like or want, ask the following questions:
– How can I use the situation to become stronger, clearer, happier?
– How is this the perfect situation I need right now to grow?
– Looking from the perspective of the purpose of my life,  why did I/ my soul bring on this experience?

These are very difficult and provocative questions that assume total self-responsibility. But they work! The answer may come fast or it may take quite a bit of time to make sense and use of a challenge. Even of a tragedy. But that is the nature of life and of consciousness, to come through it and prevail. You’ve seen that grass growing through the asphalt. That is what got us out of the caves and out of the plagues and will bring us to peace. So keep up and carry on with consciousness in your individual situations. Make use of every mess. And we will all make it!

Select What Affects You

Your heart is a sacred thing enshrined in your miraculous body. Dignity and Divinity are built into every cell of your being and realm of your psyche. But so often we feel small, defective, dirty, mean or lonely.

You are a precious treasure. But like fine china your value can be unnoticed, undervalued, mistreated, even shattered. Valuables, gold and gems are safeguarded, insured and protected. And so must each of us see the immense value and the great sensitivity of the self and defend our sensibilities from all careless or calculated attacks.

You have the power and choice to accept or reject incoming communications BEFORE you let them hit your heart. Some people have a “tough skin” and are less affected by negativity, but most of us will enjoy life more when we increase this ability to discern. And BTW, some of these attacks come from within your own mind!

Said more simply: Hurtful stuff comes at you every day. Learn to protect, and select what affects you!

Here’s a way to develop this habit. Each step may take training and practice.

1- When an attack is coming, or has come at you from your own mind or from someone/ something outside yourself;

2- Decide not to hear it, accept it, believe it, nor let it inside you yet. Don’t take it on.

3- Get yourself as strong and clear as possible. Learn to do this!

4- When YOU are ready, allow the thought/ words/ situation to come right up to you but not in, like a stranger at the door you are going to question before they qualify to enter with your permission.

5- Clearly, meditatively, from a place of as much neutrality as you can embody, decide that you are ready to examine the information. This shifts the power from the attacker to you. You CHOOSE to hear it now.

6- From neutrality you can assess the input (still from outside the door of your being!).

7- Ask, “What part of this is not about me but all about them and where they are in pain and confusion. You can learn to easily see what is not true for you. Just let this go. Release and discard it, drop it. Say out loud, like Gandolf, “You shall not pass!” The words may not enter nor stick with you. It may be 100% not about you, but then Ask:

8- “Is there any part of this message that I deem to have some truth, some valid information with which I can correct  or improve myself, learn and grow from?”

9- If and when YOU see that there is something of use in this communication, some Truth, then as an empowered and empowering act, you let it in the door of your heart. Consider it deeply and let it contribute to your consciousness. Use it, with gratitude to make your life even better.

10- And use this same practice with your own thoughts when they attack from within! Try it!

This Truth portion of any incoming attack may be anywhere from 0% to 100% of the original message. And only you know. You are the judge of Truth, and you are the protector of your honor. But it does take that elevated neutral view to see clearly. That is the thing most of us need to practice and strengthen.  Meditate to get there!
In time this becomes nearly automatic. You are safe and free, the decider about what you take in and how you use the mostly random and impersonal stuff that may get thrown in your direction each day.  And, you are open to input, flexible and constantly learning.

Does it ever happen to you? You are trying to decide something, figure out what happened, understand what you think, feel, or should do. There is a LOT on your mind. It distracts you, keeps you lying awake. Thoughts are churning, you can’t NOT think about it. You debate the same pro’s and con’s over and over without getting anywhere new. Meanwhile, nothing changes. You are stuck. You have a mild, medium or intense case of ANALYSIS PARALYSIS.

As powerful as the human mind is, we have another faculty for knowing things. It is less well-defined and, unfortunately, not very well trusted and utilized. It is still considered lame, bogus, even mystical. Our language is imprecise; we describe it as a gut feeling, following our heart, a hunch, “I don’t know how I know, I just know”, and (correctly) intuition. It is a key part of our total “sensory system”. And it’s time we quit suffering and live with the full benefits of this way of knowing truths directly from our own soul.

“Listening to soul” is nothing magical: Soul is simply the part of you that sees the big picture. And listening to it is extremely practical. The mind can compute a million details (content), while the heart can take in the entire situation (context) and “get it” in one impulse, without thinking at all.

The things that matter most to you are more easily known to the heart’s subtle, calm, “still, small voice”. Just as a parent can patiently listen to a child ranting in a tantrum, your higher awareness can calmly observe the frantic chatter of the monkey-like mind. Are you familiar with these two voices inside of you? Wouldn’t it be nice to reside in the clear and calm one?

Here are some concepts and practices to make the switch:

– When something is troubling, bothering, overwhelming, confusing…

– Don’t go after it, attack it, get wound up tight. Your first priority is to get clear.  When you do act, it will be from there.

– Instead, de-escalate. Calm your nervous system and relax the mind.

I hope you know at this point in your life what works fast and best for you to do this. Yoga and Kundalini meditations are the most effective methods I’ve found, but there as many ways as there are minds.

– When you get a bit of space in there, ask your mind to wait for further instruction. Reassure it that everything is okay; to sit and wait like a faithful dog until you give it the next “ball to chase”. Train your mind!

This might take minutes, days, or years! You may not trust at first that this is the most efficient way to “fix the problem” since we are trained to go after the symptom at the surface.

In yogic terms we say, be sure to listen BOTH to the negative and the positive sides (thoughts), but get to neutral before you speak or act. You can almost always buy some time, postpone a response until you are crystal clear, until you know you are acting in your best, long-term interest.

Folks ask me, “How do I know that I am hearing from the Soul and not the Mind?” I say, “Practice!” Practice what? When you see, hear, feel or sense and get the truth, it is totally, instantly clear, just like that light bulb in the cartoons. It is deeper, in your body, and surer than a thought. You feel certain, at peace, and at least momentarily willing to stand against all odds to pursue more of that same sensation.

So in a beautiful irony, the remedy for Analysis Paralysis is to not think. Rather, to solve the situation from your heart. Once you know what must be, throw the ball for that energetic dog. Say, “okay mind here’s the deal; go get it.” When you feel so much better, and also see that things work out better, you’ll learn to trust your Self.

“Don’t go outside yourself and become a victim, go inside and become a master.”

– Yogi Bhajan

We are fragile when we are born and can’t survive without getting food and care from “out there”. As we grow we seek our countless needs from the environment. So naturally, when someone or something bothers us, we “go after” the thing to “fix it.”  It’s a costly mistake we all make.

Shi* Happens. That great piece of modern wisdom reminds us that after we’ve done all we can to take care of ourselves, life often brings the unexpected and unwanted. When it does, don’t react or attack. Don’t take it any more personally than the weather. People act according to their nature and gravity moves stars in their own orbit. It’s not about you. But when it interacts with you, it does affect you. Focus on the effect it is having on YOU.

They didn’t do it “to” you. They were just being themselves. How it impacts you is all about you. And that is something you have more control over. Rather than fight the nature of things, focus FIRST on yourself. What’s really going on? How did this affect me? Why does it bother me? What do I need now? What could I do to make it right for myself, to move on happily?

Our feelings are critical equipment to help in this first step. The self-awareness inquiry is simple. Get as clear and neutral as you can, then ask:

-What am I feeling?

-Why am I feeling this way?

-What do I need to know or do to feel better?

With practice, you can do this quickly and accurately. THEN go “out there” when action is needed, to communicate, rearrange things, to handle it based on your clear desired outcome. This is conscious self-care. It is looking-before-you-leap. It reflects taking full responsibility for your own experience. Though the world won’t always conform and obey your wishes, there is ALWAYS something you can do in any situation to make it better for yourself. There is always a choice. And choice gives you power.

For huge, difficult, life-changing events there are seldom quick fixes. Getting clear can take years. You can be sure that this level of life-challenge is bringing you a major demand to learn, grow and to expand your consciousness. When you approach life from the vast perspective of the soul, you can ask, “Why did I invite this into my life? What will be its value to me long term? What do I not know now, the knowing of which will take me through the block?

These are confronting questions that leave no room for blame or helpless acceptance of fate. At first intimidating but ultimately empowering, this approach trains us to use our ability to create our reality.  Let’s keep learning from each challenge by looking at ourselves first for the pain, the cause and the remedy.

Physical Fitness.  Everyone knows what that is and how important it is to achieve it.  Some take steps to get in shape; others decide that it’s not worth the effort.  But all people recognize the importance of keeping the physical body healthy.

This is because in the 1960’s, President Kennedy implemented programs in school for physical education.  It’s so practiced and understood at the national level and beyond because there was a federal mandate to get people aware about the health of their bodies.

But what about Emotional Wellness?  We know some things about Emotions.  We know that exercise can reduce stress – for instance.  But for the most part, we are still in an infancy of awareness when it comes to Emotional Wellness.

Mostly, there’s a lot unspoken pain in people’s lives.  Additionally, there isn’t adequate treatment.

We take care of anxiety and depression with pharmaceutical drugs.  We take care of drug abuse with cold, institutional rehab centers that have high relapse rates.  We take care of relationship problems with court ordered separations and divorces.

None of these are healthy treatments and they don’t come close to addressing prevention.   Emotional literacy is the next big thing we need.

We need to see that Emotions are our friends.  And while we many need to heal them, we don’t need to treat them.  We need to utilize them for understanding and empowerment.  We need to have healthy relationships with our Emotions, so they can guide and support us.  If we start relating to emotions in this way,we will all be a lot happier! I really believe this crucial skill can make the world a better place!

To achieve this goal, we can follow the curve of Physical Education, and implement similar strategies in promoting Emotional Education.

1. See that there is a need for emotional education and research methods for children and adults.
2. Encourage commitment and investment of time.   Just like you don’t start running a marathon after one day at the gym, emotional dexterity takes time and effort.
3. Create clear exercises for Emotional Literacy and develop systems that accelerate growth in this area

I hope that one day, these programs are achieved in school, so that kids grow up knowing how to handle emotions for their betterment and success.  In the meantime, this is why I developed Senses of the Soul.

Senses of the Soul (SOS) is a system of self-therapy that uses Emotions for Strength, Healing and Guidance.  It’s a transformative technique that really changes the way you live your life! If you really want to improve your life, there is no better way to start.

There is a lot of suffering out there, as well as within our own hearts and minds. But there’s reason for hope.  After five decades of searching, learning, and experiencing anything I could find that might help my happiness, I can say that what made the most difference was to calm down enough to pay attention, to talk nicely to myself and find out what was wrong.

I remember taking on the “project” of Self-Love. It sounded like a good idea. I thought it would be simple and would come automatically. But I found it surprisingly difficult, so I decided to start with an easier step: self-niceness.  As that left me in a world that treated me better, something deep inside me accepted that I must be worth it genuine.  The positive momentum continued from self-kindness to self-compassion and on into Self-Love. It took a long time and a lot of work, acceptance, and surrender. But it was worth every last drop of blood, sweat, and tears.

Sacred Self-Hug

Here is a simple thing to do as a daily practice or anytime you need it.

Sit calmly and take a few deep breaths. Cross your arms with your hands holding opposite shoulders; left arm higher and right arm below it. As the hands hold on, relax the rest of your body-your face, neck, shoulders, and arms. The body language is a self-hug. If you have ever loved anything, you know the feeling of a hug; call it forth now. Feel cozy and loved within yourself. Breathe long, full breaths that slowly become effortless as you settle in to the hug. Have some gentle uplifting music playing softly, if you wish. Think any positive thought and image and evoke every warm feeling. Let everything else disappear until there is no thought at all, just the feeling that you are safe and loved. Let that melt you away until what is left is beyond feeling. All is well, all is perfect. Behold this awe and reverence for the vastness. Be in pure experience. It is Divine, sacred, pure consciousness.

At some point you will be ready to “come back.” Breathe deeply, stretch, and relax. Can you invite this experience to influence and alter your activity? When you visit it often, it will not be forgotten.

A quote that really embodies this feeling is something my son said at his high school graduation: “I am exactly who I am supposed to be, and that is who I’ve always wanted to be, and I am completely in love with that person” – Har Narayan Khalsa, June 2012.

The time has come to solve your problems. We all have the ability to do so, yet we live with too many. In just a few short years we have put all the information that humans have gathered onto one web that is accessible to everyone. But until knowledge is used wisely it does nothing to increase human happiness. For that we need more than information and knowledge, we need wisdom. Not just answers, but the right solutions for each situation, which are then put into action.

Emocionante in Spanish translates into English as “exciting.” Just count the ways, from morning coffee to evening news, that you seek stimulation. Like any addiction, ever-greater doses are needed to reach the same high and to block out all pain, but the damage also increases. In this love/hate relationship with feelings, “ups” are followed by and matched with “downs;” you fatigue from both, and pain persists.

But there is a higher octave of pleasure that is subtler and more sustaining. The experiences at this higher level are considered spiritual goals: Peace, Joy, Bliss, Unconditional Love. These are boring when compared with action movies and family fights, but they become more appealing as we detox from living in constant motion and commotion. These subtler excitements become more enticing as we refine our sensitivity; these sublime feelings are experiences that we all deeply long for once the noise and chaos recede.

Just as your five senses help you attend to the body, emotions are a way to relate to your soul. They tell you what your heart longs for, and they convey pain when you don’t get it. They bring fierce energy when your peace is disturbed so that you can protect your sanctity.

All the big yet invisible experiences that determine your quality of life—Love, Peace, Contentment, Beauty, Grandeur, Hope, Inspiration—are felt inside. These inner experiences are known through the same sensory system that brings you Anxiety and Hate. “Negative” emotions are, in fact, warning signals pointing to whatever it is that is interfering with your preferred “positive” states.

Emotions are the Senses of the Soul. They lead you to light. They let you know where you are on your path from pain-to-peace, alerting you away from suffering and toward deep and sustainable pleasure.

As you begin to use emotions to clear up trouble rather than cause it, you will spend more time feeling good and happy. This will become your new normal, and inner peace will become your natural home.                                             

from Senses of the Soul

Last week we looked at the inflow and outflow of energy in our lives, which the yogis call Prana and Apana. (Click here to read it.) Since our mental, emotional and physical health depend on managing our energy to have the right amount needed, I suggested reviewing your use of this most essential resource. Again, take some time to clear away situations that are unnecessarily draining you.

Another way to prevent fatigue and despair and restore vitality is to work better with the out-flowing Apana. We naturally prefer the influx of energy. We mostly want more! Time, energy, enthusiasm, activity and achievement. Our busyness is very exciting. But try holding your breath for over a minute and see how much you come to value letting go of that breath. So instead of just thinking of Apana as elimination or losing something, think of it as a letting go, resting, relaxing, not having to do anything; just being. You can’t have more of anything if there is no space for it to fit into. Everything you want needs room.

Just as much is we get attached to gaining not losing, we fear the dark, the void, emptiness, nothingness, the unknown, death. Yet, we know how wonderful it is to exhale and to fall asleep. Both make way for a revival, for the inrushing of new life. Evaluate for yourself how common valued, and practiced these space creating practices are, in proportion to all of your “go, gain and get” activities.

Silence

All the sleep you want

Frequent vacations

Naps

No plans

Quiet time

A still mind

Letting others win/ be right

Only one thing on your to do list and it is your favorite thing in the world

Closets, drawers and garages with lots of empty space

A humble ego

Contentment

Patience

World peace

All of these things are examples of the beauty of emptiness and nothingness. So don’t be afraid of your own outflow; it keeps the Universe in balance and you happy. Increase your Apana activities: rest up rather than pushing when you want more energy and want to feel more optimistic. Create some space and allow nature to fill you up.

Are you rising or falling, upbeat or downtrodden, enthused or burnt out? Fierce winds blow, followed by calm. But we seem to just push on and on. When we feel depleted physically, mentally and creatively, get sick or depressed, we think something is wrong. Often it is the wisdom of our system creating a balance when we don’t know how. The ability to rise and recover – from anything – is called Resilience and it is woven into every life. But we do have a choice to ignore, resist, or work with nature’s rejuvenating way.

We were all born with an energy “trust fund”, a personal store of life force that is used and replenished like interest earned. Some people have more and some less as a baseline. But learning to be good stewards or energy managers of this precious gift of “prana” is each living being’s privilege and responsibility. Each day you have a certain amount of incoming energy available. Yogis understand this as Prana. As it is spent, it leaves you. This is Apana.

A breath comes in to give your cells life, then the breath carries away the by products of metabolism that you don’t need; exhaust fumes. THAT ONE BREATH IS USED AND GONE! What did you buy with it; did you gain or lose from the trade? You got a few seconds of living. At the end of the day you are tired. You sleep and your energy bank account is refilled. What did you get back from your day’s efforts? Over many decades there is a collective depletion we call aging. The “bank account” of physical energy is not longer replenished as fully as before. Net loss? Not necessarily!

Consider that air, food, water, sunlight all bring you prana, but so do environments, people, attitudes, thoughts and emotions. Prana is subtler than electricity and calories; it spans the non-physical worlds; it is vibrational. If you are spending your energy to increase peace and beauty around you, wisdom and mental fortitude within, neutrality and emotional resilience as a habit… this is a good trade! Like good financial planning, wise energy management can afford you a growing body of all the happiness you need. The first step is to review how you are spending your life force. What are you investing in? What are you getting in return?

Examples of poor investments that deplete you:

Spending time with people that bring you down.

All work and no play.

Blaming and complaining without working to resolve problems.

Allowing yourself to be mistreated.

Negative self-talk.

Worry, doubt, confusion, despair and depression, unresolved anger.

Thoughts and feelings can gain or lose LOTS of life force. But remember these “Senses of the Soul” can also be used to guide you out of trouble; that is their purpose! Allowing these energy drains to go unresolved is the source of greatest exhaustion for modern people. When you live close to the “edge”, it is like bankruptcy, struggle and suffering. Time for an energy-management makeover?

Take a year to clean up, retrain or change the environments, relationships, personal habits and behaviors that drain you, stress you, don’t uplift you. Just make a list of the all that bothers you. Then, a list of fanciful ideas; what you can do to stop the energy bleeding and switch over to healthy feeding off good vibes.

More on managing your Prana and Apana for resilience next week….

emotional contagion. noun. the tendency to feel and express emotions similar to and influenced by those of others; also, the phenomenon of one person’s negative thoughts or anxiety affecting another’s mood. It is less conscious and more automatic, while there are also the more cognitive, sophisticated, and “socially beneficial” processes of empathy and sympathy.

Hi folks,

How’s your happiness going? I want to share some thoughts and tools on the subject. I spend my life helping others to find more of it through the tools that I have acquired: Kundalini yoga, life coaching and working with the emotions. And ultimately those came to me for selfish reasons; they are the product of my own search for happiness. So when I was thinking of the story of the many people I have helped from which to draw some examples and conclusions, I realize that there’s no one I know more about in their search for happiness than myself. And I am very, very happy.

In the review of my process I realize that it has been a project and continues to be a process. So I want to share a list of principles and practices, all of which are important and any of which will help. As you look through them you will be naturally drawn to some as most needed and effective for you right now. Please do read the final few points in summation.

PRINCIPLES OF HAPPINESS

• Believe that it is possible, no matter the circumstances nor the past.
• Commit to the pursuit of it. Be steady, it takes work.
• Be patient, it takes time.
• Have courage, to face and deal with obstacles.
• Be flexible, happiness may not be what you think.
• Be smart, figure out what you need, what makes you happy.
• Make good choices. Every day you make hundreds of micro choices that lead you closer or further to your happiness.
• Be adaptable, the sources and nature of your happiness changes with time.
• Acceptance, work with what you have right now to create happiness.
• Let go, end attachments in situations that bring you down.
• Take care of yourself, health and energy help a lot.
• Start where you are, there’s nothing so wrong or bad that you can’t make incremental improvements.
• It’s not an all or nothing game, it’s about making steady gains.
• Don’t compare and compete in the happiness game. Be inspired by what you see but don’t be fooled into thinking that anyone has a better chance at happiness than you.
• Hardships are obstacles but not obstructions, they can serve to motivate and help you find happiness.
• Happiness is served by temporary enjoyments but it is much deeper and more substantial, more like a healthy diet then a single dessert. It includes body mind and emotions, but is impossible without a deep spiritual component. Giving it is an essential part of getting it.
• It is your birthright. Only you can do it. But get help and support. Humans need connection.
• Get started, keep going. It’s a continual process that can increase in up times and down.

How do you know you have a Soul? We’re done with the days when someone tells you and you just believe it, or don’t believe. That’s just not satisfying anymore. This is the age of knowledge which comes by your own direct experience. But you can’t see Soul, and “seeing is believing,” right? Well, you can’t see love either; how do you know it exists? You can feel it! Feelings are a subtler sense, part of your sixth sense. When used consciously, our Emotions are the Senses of the Soul.

You use your five physical senses to go get what you need and avoid harm.  Emotional feelings are also sensors. They bring subtler information, the “flavor” of a situation. I may see you smiling at me, but how do you really “feel” about me?  Something tells me that you are actually very upset with me. That information is more important to our relationship than what my eyes tell me. But most of us don’t have trust and skill in using our emotions intuitively. We often ignore and override this vital source of guidance. Or, we become slave to our feelings without mindful interpretation of their messages.

You can use all your emotions – the pleasant and the painful ones — to feel your depths and heights. When you want to listen to your soul – always a good thing to do – feelings help you understand it. They are part of the intimate, intuitive language of the soul. Sadness, despair and fear can put you in touch with your heart and soul just as much as joy and bliss.

The benefit that all emotions share is that they can get you focused on your body and your immediate “felt experience” rather than only listening to the mind. When focusing well on emotions, one is in the present – where you need to be to deal with life- rather than in the world of past and future that your mind escapes to.  Feelings get us listening and learning not from mind, which can only remember, imagine and believe. They take us into direct experience of the here and now which is where intuition lives.
Of course we prefer to feel good and don’t like those “bad” feelings, but they all lead to Soul. A Sikh master wrote, “pain is the remedy.” How so? Pain humbles us, opens our hearts and motivates change. It brings the surrender necessary to help you find new solutions. Pain makes you pay attention! When you listen to your emotions in a mindful and meditative way, when you approach them consciously — not as a slave nor as a controlling suppressor but as a partner – you are indeed listening to the wisdom of your Soul. Soul knows exactly what’s interrupting your flow of happiness and what you need to do to restore it.

What does Soul feel like? It varies from person to person and time to time, but it always includes clarity and vastness. That opening comes sometimes from highs, sometimes from lows. Emotions can be just as chaotic and confusing as thoughts, so most of us need some training to be their partner instead of their slave. Learn to consciously work with your feelings to FEEL YOUR SOUL.  This is the mission of Senses of the Soul. It’s simple to learn, and I am happy to send you “The SOS Method” and a short video series to learn it. Just email me at gurumeher@SensesOfTheSoul.com.

If you are ready to truly master your emotions…

Each year, I work with a small group of people to thoroughly train them in the use of emotions for healing, personal growth, spiritual transformation and self-mastery. That full training, Emotional Liberation, is starting now! This is advanced self-therapy. A proven structure to work through issues, heal traumas and make long-awaited changes. Self study, personal coaching and group support in weekly calls create a safe place to gain a lifetime skillset for emotional wellbeing. You are warmly invited to find out more about this method, the book and the upcoming course, Emotional Liberation, at www.SensesoftheSoul.com.

“I entered this course with high expectations. I was surprised when the first thing I learned was that I don’t really work with my feelings. I do a lot of self-help courses and do all the work from my head in a way that actually make me feel worse about myself because I’m not what I’m supposed to be. But this work let me feel whatever I was feeling, and from that I could heal. It is a lifetime of work that I now have the tools to do.

It’s been amazing all the things that I’ve learned in nine months. I’ve learned to surrender to what I’m actually feeling and what is happening to me without beating myself up. I have so much more self-love and ability to take care of myself than I had before. I want to thank everyone in the class for supporting my process through this year of listening, sharing and support. It was a very important part of the process for me, to know that I’m not crazy and other people are dealing with the same things.” – Kerri

The following article has been reprinted courtesy of:

Copyright Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, Soul Answer, Inc., 2015

www.SoulAnswer.com/wisdom_marketplace.html & www.SoulAnswer.org/good-reads

Today’s SOS thoughts come from Lisa! She is my assistant, protégé, and the person one person who understands, practices and teaches this emotional guidance work better than anyone. You have seen her on some videos, and will be seeing more of her around Senses of the Soul, especially at the Live LA event weekends, coming soon.

Be Happier This Year, One Feeling at a Time

How much of your time is spent being happy? And how much time do you spend feeling bad? Seeking pleasure and avoiding pain drive us, and happiness is something we all seek. But look at how much suffering there is. Why aren’t we better at solving this by now? No one has solved world hunger, war, disease and poverty; but why can’t we each solve the pain in our own lives? Emotions, especially those “unhappy” ones, are the least understood and most poorly managed area of self-awareness. Surprisingly, pain contains the remedy to your suffering?

Many people find that emotions bog them down. They think if only they could live without emotions, life would be so much easier! Unfortunately, I found that when people try to eliminate their emotions, those emotions just get worse. Suppressing emotions does not work, and ignoring how you feel eventually makes you feel worse, where you remain stuck too long. It’s time to learn how to use your emotions as they were intended – to help you see the source of pain and guide you into peace.

Although it can be a bit scary to allow and work with strong feelings, I assure you, you can handle it all. You are greater than your feelings and they will serve you when you take conscious control of them. The goal is complete safety to be you and to handle all that this world brings you. Central to this work are listening to yourself and trusting what you hear. That’s the only way to know your own limits while engaging yourself fully in transcending them. You alone can monitor and protect your sense of safety.

Thankfully, the age of blindly following anyone or anything is coming to an end. Taking responsibility for our circumstances and taking initiative to improve those circumstances are vital steps to take better care of ourselves. You can do it, one feeling at a time.

Here are some situations you can overcome by working mindfully with your emotions:

• You may have the occasional bad day or bothersome incident and want to get over it.
• You may have persistent unpleasant emotions that seem inescapable.
• You may have shut down your feeling to survive.
• Maybe a desire for love and joy requires that you awaken.
• You may have suffered trauma, and that pain holds you back.
• You may have already worked on your past but want to get to a higher well-being.
• Perhaps you’d like a powerful set of tools to help others with their pain.

No one can do the work for you but the information and is now available. Meditate! And include your emotions in your meditation. Get present and clear using any technique you know (Kundalini Yoga works fast!). Then invite emotions in by allowing whatever is troubling you to surface. It will feel bad at first, but soon you find a balance you can handle. Now the truth and soul’s wisdom can be heard when you simply as your intuition for answers.

That’s the SOS Method! Simple, straight and always available within you. I can’t wait to share the incredible depths of this healing system with you this year, so we can all be in control of our happiness – one feeling at a time! If you want to really get it, join me and GuruMeher for the annual Emotional Liberation 2016 Courses beginning Feb 3^rd (online) and 6^th (live).

Live or Online, support yourself with this powerful and proven structure of professional coaching, rich self-study and meditation practice, and friendly peer support to unlock the therapeutic power of your emotions.

The 4 Pillars of Growth, Change and Healing

The future of therapy is self-therapy, the future of psychological healing is self-healing. Because we each have all the information about a situation, our needs and unique solutions already inside, we ourselves are in the best position to consciously correct. The job of therapists, counselors and healers is shifting to teaching us how to use our self-healing system.

We are all recovering from something that life brings, always learning to rebound from challenge and chance. So in this new partnership between you and those who help, the responsibility is shifted to you, and with it, all the power to access the answers unique to you. Training is still needed. Teachers can help you obtain the four things you will need on your journey:  Information, Practice, Support, and Inspiration

Information: Until we are all trained from birth to trust ourselves and use our intuitive knowing, we need to know what others have discovered through their own journey, trial and error. “Learn through time, or learn through a teacher.” They come in many forms: Self- Improvement books, spiritual books ancient and modern, classes, the vast Web.  Your upbringing, even the best environments, brought you a narrow and biased slice of reality. Sometimes just one powerful quote opens the doors.

Practice: Once you find some truth, you have to use it, apply it, make it come alive in you as direct experience. That gym membership card in your wallet, and great books on your shelf can’t do the work.  Putting your focus and effort over time to polish away the cloudiness and pain, build resilience and strength… it’s a workout. Assets like Will, Discipline, Willingness are needed. But Courage, Love and Compassion may be more your avenue. Some of both are best. A regular, rhythmic personal practice is part of every path to skill and mastery. Don Juan said there are many different paths; find a path with heart, and follow it to the very end.

Support: Steady constant development can be a challenge until a healthy habit is set. We all need structure, just like the timbers that hold up a house. You need to find the support that makes it all work and keep on working for you. Your own commitment is the foundation. That can come from pain or a driving desire for something good, or a simple knowing that something is right and must be done. Then you need clear actions, the actual “to do’s”. Next comes the time and place to do it. How do you fit it into your day? Sometimes hard choices are required to prioritize your well-being investments. To keep it all together you need outside support too: people who get you and what you are doing, who practice with you or cheer you on, who recognize your efforts and can see your gains. All of these elements can be found together in classes, courses and meetings whether private with a buddy, in local live groups, or virtual and recorded formats. Support groups are one of the best self-improvement tools discovered in the last century and are now in the web. Find what works for you, then work it!

Inspiration: Some spark will have started all of this for you, and you will need to renew your motivation if you are to reach your self-promised land.  The hero’s journey has many low moments that can derail the entire thing, or serve to refresh and renew. Inspiration can come from internal and external sources. At times your progress inspires and energizes, and sometimes you need some outside encouragement to keep up. You can have these known and ready in ample supply so you know where to go when you are low.

Information, Practice, Support and Inspiration…

They are constantly interwoven and may ebb and flow in changing proportion. Which of these 4 are strong in your life, and which are needed in greater measure? Assess where you are and how you are going to grow. When these are in place and working, you will see your self-healing power flourish.

“All therapies, and all help, and all knowledge are going to be absolutely obsolete. People need immediately self-exalted experience. And that is what the whole essence of human life is.”    –  Yogi Bhajan

Resolve Not to Resolve

It wouldn’t be New Year’s without resolutions, right? But how did you fare last year when you resolved to stop a bad habit? Sometimes, the more you try to deny a desire, the more it increases, the more you want the thing (a drink, food, an unhealthy relationship). On top of that, unfilled “wants” can bring up Anger, and judgement of desires creates Shame. So, this year, instead of trying more and pushing harder, try  a softer approach: resolve not to resolve!

Think about the great masters who enjoy freedom from the constant seeking of pleasure that drive most of us. They have desire but it is for things as they are. When there is no striving for or resistance to things, life flows. Peace is possible under any circumstance.

Most regular folks do have desires and we do need them! Every day there are a million things we need just to stay alive, plus a whole lot more to thrive. Desire can lead to contentment and fulfillment, but what do you do when you can’t move forward on a resolution or a promise to yourself or someone else? Sometimes the best strategy is surrender.

If you don’t think you can, you don’t know how, you can’t find the power or the way, if you are stuck or frustrated, this is the time to stop everything. When you lose energy, interest, motivation, you can reevaluate your beliefs and approaches, an even break old patterns. Letting go of the old restores your energy and allows you to see life with new clarity.

So if you are feeling the blahs, the blues or lethargy about the past year and anxiety or frustration about prospects for the year ahead, don’t resist or grasp. Honor and allow it all. This brings release and relaxation. As with all low energy emotions, there is a fear of being engulfed if you surrender. But emotion is energy in motion, it moves things and then moves on. The SOS Method is about learning to trust your emotions. By being willing to feel bad things, you gain confidence to go into the darkness. We find the light that always rises.

If you are ready to find out what you really want, or don’t want, in 2016, then try this: Get peaceful, do some long deep breathing, then allow yourself to really feel what you are feeling. You can ask the emotion the following questions:

• What do I need to know or do?
• Is there something I could let go of that would help me?
• Am I ready to deal with or change something about my circumstances that will bring me relief?
• Do I just need to relax and restore?
• Can I feel a sense of confidence that everything will be taken care of?

Remember, Surrender breaks you free from attachments and outdated ambitions that no longer serve you. It brings rest and renewal. Ultimately, it connects you to the source of all power. It teaches you to let go and let the universe do the work.

In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added.

In the practice of the Tao (the Way), every day something is dropped.

Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action.

When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.

True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way.

It cannot be gained by interfering.

-Tao Te Ching, 16

This is NOT a list of things to buy, clean, cook, prepare or even do for the holidays. This is a list for YOU and by YOU of sanity-saving Self-Care tips for the season. It doesn’t matter if you were naughty or nice. Feel free to get creative and add even more. Then print, post where you can see it frequently, and pass it along!

____Remember Your Breath. If you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed by family obligations and holiday parties, then turn to your breath. It is always there for you like a loyal, unwavering friend. From the very first moment of your life, your next breath is provided for you, without a thought. Be greedy with your breath and take in as much as you need to calm, clear and nourish yourself.  You can also invite a friend, colleague, or spouse to take a few deep breaths with you!

____Be Generous to Yourself. During this season of giving, don’t forget about what YOU need. This does not necessarily mean to go buy yourself an expensive gift. For every external wish, there is an internal want. So take a moment and tune out all the external voices and non-stop holiday music. Get quiet, maybe meditate, then ask yourself, what do I really NEED? Listen for the voice inside of you. The answer may surprise you. Then take action and do what the voice says!

____Feed your Spirit.  With all the socializing combined with stress, sometimes we self-sooth by overeating, drinking and indulging. So when you experience Hunger, Desire, Cravings or even Addiction this season, be sure to feed yourself with what you really need. So before you stuff yourself, see what Soul wants. Is it a hug, a phone call with a friend, to pet your dog or cat, or perhaps a moment alone?

____Get Conscious About Your Emotions. Spending time with family can be amazing but also challenging. No one can press buttons like the ones you love! If heavy emotions arise for you, like Anger, Fear, or Guilt, don’t suppress them, trust them. Of course, you don’t want to explode either. This may feel good for a few minutes but will not bring the results you want.  So take a walk, do some yoga, and get conscious. This way you have the choice, and your voice, to use your emotions effectively.

____Take the Pressure Off. Sometimes our minds can conjure up what the perfect holiday should look like. Or maybe we saw it in a movie.  Or we see someone else and imagine she has the perfect tree, haircut, family and life. But if we compare, we are doomed. This is the time to focus on what we have rather than what we feel we may lack. Take a moment right now to acknowledge the gifts in your life. You probably have more than you think! Perfectionism can be punishing and life is an ever-changing cycle. This Christmas or Hanukkah will be different than last and will definitely be different than next. The key to contentment is accepting exactly what is, right now.

My Self-Care tips:  ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Here’s the problem with the holidays, and an invitation to solve it.

There is a basic conflict in the way we have come to celebrate these winter holidays that creates stress and problems for a lot of people. I hope you’ll take a few minutes to understand this phenomena, with the goal being to find your own true way to the peace and joy we all need so much.

Bio-Rhythmic Balance

All of non-equatorial life on this planet evolved to the cycle of summer and winter energies. When the sun is hot and the day is long, living things are busy and productive with the business of sustenance. When the nights are cold and long, living things survived by going inside, underground and dormant. This was a time to embrace the darkness, rest and conserve one’s resources to emerge with the returning of the light, restored and ready for the business of the warm months.

This urge to hibernate also serves an important role in emotional cleansing and spiritual awakening. The slow, dark elements urge us to inner exploration, to release and resolve the many pressures of life for which there’s little time to process in times of great activity. 

But we are by nature afraid of the dark, and therefore of the depth’s of our psyche in the invisible world of all that we feel but cannot see. Our comfort zone is in the external, the physical, the busy and the bright. So human cultures developed traditions to keep spirits bright during the dark winter months with fire, lights, food, family, heightened by elevating stories and conversations of love all to feed the spirit.

But maybe we went too far. We developed electric lights and 24/7 Walmart shopping opportunities, in other words, the resources to avoid the darkness. We find ourselves getting super busy when nature is inviting us to be quiet. Social coziness becomes social demands. Simple sharing becomes lists of stuff to do and to buy. Gratitude becomes obligation. And exhaustion replaces restoration. Any interest was lost, stress is the cost.

Love and joy need a source of fuel just as your body needs calories. When a person is tired and at the end of their resources – physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually – she or he is in a survival mode in which generosity of the heart runs out of juice. When emotional batteries are drained, we can’t force and artificially create good will. Rather, it must flow naturally.

So my challenge to you is to examine this conflict within yourself, this misuse of resources. How will you find your balance this winter in this holiday season so that your spirit shines forth warmly and naturally?

Please send me your ideas about how you can, or begin to, find your natural rhythm and restoration of the Spirit. Next week I will share your ideas with everyone along with my own. Together we can forge our own spiritual traditions to create, at least for ourselves, peace on earth.

Do you know about the “Bliss Point”? It is a combination of sugar, fat and salt that food scientists have found to be totally satisfying to the human tongue.  Every fantastic meal you’ve ever had in your life, from the Salmon en Papillote at that five-star restaurant to your grandmother’s Thanksgiving stuffing, was crafted on that special Bliss Point balance.  If feels good to be fed in this combination!

There is another kind of Bliss Point in this life.  Yes, you know the kind I mean- Spiritual Bliss. Just as you are wired to crave sugar, salt and fat, you also have a deep longing for that ultimate sense of well-being, that feeling of being totally at HOME in the Universe: Bliss.

As a term, Bliss has been used so casually it may be thought of as something trite.  Phrases like “Follow your Bliss,” or, “Blissed out,” make the experience sound like something you can find while flipping through a magazine.  Let’s get clear on what Bliss really is.

Bliss is a well-defined State of Consciousness (See Power vs. Force by David Hawkins).  Described classically in spiritual literature, Bliss is physical-mental-emotional- spiritual experience of Peace, Love, Clarity, and Vastness.  Beautiful, isn’t it?

The achievement of Bliss is possible but it is, in fact, a relatively rare in human experience. True Bliss isn’t as easy as the food chemist would have you believe.  You can’t just grab a snickers and call it a day!

Spiritual disciplines provide methods to achieving bliss and we have all felt the clues leading us there. The hard work part is to remove all obstacles to Bliss. Many spiritual disciplines ask you to develop self-awareness and self-control.  No matter how you chose to get there, you will definitely need to deal with things like:

·  Fear and Insecurity

·  Guilt and Low-Self-esteem

·  Anger, Depression and Grief.

Which is what we do in Senses of the Soul.  Most real Bliss methods take time and the short-term experience may be more uncomfortable than pleasant.

If all of this sounds like a big project, it is!  But taking on the “project” to achieve bliss has a huge payoff.  And as Rumi said, “Take on a huge, foolish project. It makes absolutely no difference what others think!”

So start a spiritual practice, deal with unresolved issues, work with your emotions, heal relationships, practice self-love, serve others, get your finances in order, clean your clutter. All self-improvement are steps on this path toward the real bliss. This requires discipline and commitment over time but it will give you the experience you seek.

When, through deep commitment, you can go beyond the focus on the self to transcend the limitations of personality, the experience of unlimited Vastness and Freedom become very available.

Your mind becomes quiet.  You listen deeply.  You gain clarity.  You become neutral.  And as these elements become stable and deeply grounded as your predominant and unshakeable experience, they mature into Bliss.

Here’s a question I got in an email last week:

Hi, GuruMeher. I’m curious. I’ve noticed that the dominant thing I’m  feeling today seems to be “boredom.” But I don’t think boredom is an emotion. How can I dig deeper and find the emotion?

I’m sure a lot of you feel this way sometimes. You’re not exactly sad or discouraged, but you feel uninspired by life.  This concerns you because you believe that you should feel more joyful, engaged and excited by things.  I understand.

Boredom isn’t an actual emotion so to speak. Boredom could be more classified as an energy.  It’s is a slow, inward reaching vibration that has elements of apathy (commonly called Depression), sadness (Grief) and inadequacy (Fear). Unaddressed, boredom can progress into actual Depression.   However, on it’s own, boredom is actually quire useful!

When approached with awareness, Boredom leads to Peace.

I spent years working with a coach to help me with what I like to term a “raging workaholic” problem. After a working together for some time, we were successful in reducing my workload and “unhooking” from the subconscious drivers of my need to work endlessly.  It felt great!  But then came the day I felt bored.

“Boredom is the Gatekeeper of Peace,” the coach had said.  That notion made no sense to me at the time. Feeling bored was scary.  What if I never achieved anything again?  I’d been so amped in my workaholic mode that this neutral energy I was now living in felt dangerous.  I was tempted to throw out all the progress I had made and go back to my old ways.  But I decided to try this idea of Boredom leading to Peace and see where it took me. It worked out!

When I allowed Boredom to become Peace, I got comfortable moving more slowly. The feeling boredom actually lead me to deep clarity about what was most important to me and how I really wanted to spend my time. Tasks became manageable and I was even able to accomplish more than I had before. In place of adrenaline rushes, I began to experience tranquil satisfaction.

Now you may come to boredom through another story such as a lack of meaningful purpose, unachieved dreams, delayed fulfillment, or an unclear or blocked path, to name a few.  The key is not to fear this state as something wrong, but accept it.  Not every day is a carnival.  But if you can stay neutral and calm during these “bored periods” you too can experience a deeper more complete kind of satisfaction, one that has true meaning for you.  So, I say, “Fear not Boredom; make it your friend!”

ARTICLE: FALL BLUES OR BLESSING?

Seasonal changes. Have they hit you this week? Or does your mood begin to swing with the first cold snap, shorter days, and back-to-school memories? As the vibrant, high energy of summer fades, the quiet, subdued tone of fall can come with some melancholy.

You may have had a fun summer, enjoyed adventure and expansion. You may prefer your freer lifestyle activities to the busy focus of the fall. You miss those good times and want them to continue, and that can bring a tinge of sadness.

Time moves on, and this “bummer” experience is actually natural and meant to help you grow.  The bittersweet feelings of the transition into fall help us to do something wonderful.  They help us to recognize our values!

Maybe you valued the time you had to engage in self-care activities like sleeping in or going to the beach. Perhaps it’s that element of adventure that’s really meaningful.  It could be the time you got to spend with friends and family.  Heck, maybe you just like the quality of summer sunlight more!

Whatever it is that you really loved about the summer time, let that love be a permanent imprint on your heart.  Then let that heart-based value system flow into the fall.

When you identify and relate to the underlying qualities in experiences-their inner essences-those essences are abundantly available within other experiences too!

A great practice would be to spend some time going over your favorite summer memories, dwelling and enjoying each one.  Then, take that joyous energy and apply it to the fall. How can you enjoy the soft, cozy mood of fall, even though it was such a contrast to your energetic, extroverted summer?

What I love about this process is that it’s the same for any change.  Whether that be the change from one job to another, from living in one city and then moving or even the change of going from single to in a relationship, or back to single!.  It’s the process of enjoying life on both ends!

Nothing lasts forever except for the soul. Even the most delicious meal only tastes good when we’re hungry. The only way to get enough is to relate to life from the soul perspective.  Then every experience is a treat!

FEELING, HEALING AND GLOBAL PEACE

You are not subject to circumstances. You are not a victim. But amidst substantial abundance, there is still so much suffering. Here’s a quote that sums up why I have spent 35 years practicing and teaching yoga and meditation:

• What you are feeling.
• Why you are feeling it.
• What to do to feel better.
• How to take that action.
• …So that you feel bertter.

The future of therapy is self-therapy, the future of psychological healing is self-healing. Because we each have all the information about a situation, our needs and unique solutions already inside, we ourselves are in the best position to consciously correct.   The job of therapists, counselors and healers is shifting to teaching us how to use our self-healing system.

We are all recovering from something that life brings, always learning to rebound from challenge and change. So in this new partnership between you and those who help, the responsibility is shifted to you, and with it, all the power to access the answers unique to you. Training is still needed. Teachers can help you obtain the four things you will need on your journey:  Information, Practice, Support, and Inspiration.

Information: Until we are all trained from birth to trust ourselves and use our intuitive knowing, we need to know what others have discovered through their own journey, trial and error. “Learn through time, or learn through a teacher.” They come in many forms: Self- Improvement books, spiritual books ancient and modern, classes, the vast Web.   Your upbringing, even the best environments, brought you a narrow and biased slice of reality. Sometimes just one powerful quote opens the doors.

Practice: Once you find some truth, you have to use it, apply it, make it come alive in you as direct experience. That gym membership card in your wallet, and great books on your shelf can’t do the work.  Putting your focus and effort over time to polish away the cloudiness and pain, build resilience and strength… it’s a workout. Assets like Will, Discipline, Willingness are needed. But Courage, Love and Compassion may be more your avenue. Some of both are best. A regular, rhythmic personal practice is part of every path to skill and mastery. Don Juan said there are many different paths; find a path with heart, and follow it to the very end.

Support: Steady constant development can be a challenge until a healthy habit is set. We all need structure, just like the timbers that hold up a house. You need to find the support that makes it all work and keep on working for you. Your own commitment is the foundation. That can come from pain or a driving desire for something good, or a simple knowing that something is right and must be done. Then you need clear actions, that actual “to do’s”. Next comes the time and place to do it. How do you fit it into your day? Sometimes hard choices are required to prioritize your well-being investments. To keep it all together you need outside support too: people who get you and what you are doing, who practice with you or cheer you on, who recognize your efforts and can see your gains. All of these elements can be found together in classes, courses and meetings whether private with a buddy, in local live groups, or virtual and recorded formats. Support groups are one of the best self-improvement tools discovered in the last century and are now in the web. Find what works for you, then work it!

Inspiration: Some spark will have started all of this for you, and you will need to renew your motivation if you are to reach your self-promised land.  The hero’s journey has many low moments that can derail the entire thing, or serve to refresh and renew. Inspiration can come from internal and external sources. At times your progress inspires and energizes, and sometimes you need some outside encouragement to keep up. You can have these known and ready in ample supply so you know where to go when you are low.

Information, Practice, Support and Inspiration…They are constantly interwoven and may ebb and flow in changing proportion. Which of these 4 are strong in your life, and which are needed in greater measure? Assess where you are and how you are going to grow. When these are in place and working,you will see your self-healing power flourish.

“All therapies, and all help, and all knowledge are going to be absolutely  obsolete. People need immediately self-exalted experience. And that is  what the whole essence of human life is.”    –  Yogi Bhajan

Pain is a certainty; suffering is optional.

You may have heard this; I’d like to help you live it. As a birthday gift to myself I went snowboarding yesterday. After a beautiful morning on the slopes I crashed and injured my head, wrist and ankle – ski patrol toboggan-ride down the mountain and all.

An afternoon in the emergency room for x-rays didn’t ruin my day, it just changed it. My body hurt/s and I lost the expected fun, but I chose to be grateful for an afternoon of love and care from friends, nurses and doctors. Too late to avoid the pain; s*** happens… and it did! But rather than beating myself up over my bad luck or how I could have avoided it (no longer an option), I did have a choice to love my body even with its injury, and appreciate how it works so well and is already healing itself.

Emotional hurt works the same as physical trauma. Life will bring events that evoke fear that shrinks you, cravings with their pleasure and pain, anger that can hurt and isolate you or others – and they are painful. But they are not meant to make you suffer.

Just like the nerves in my leg, emotions bring your attention to the source of pain so you can relieve it. Fear alerts you to danger, cravings to a need, and anger serves to protect you or get what you need. Suffering occurs when you don’t understand the source, or heed the call, or respond. So don’t just endure painful situations, disturbing patterns, unsatisfying relations, or any uncomfortable emotion. Use them to guide you to healing, strength and happiness.

It’s your natural sensory system; simple to learn to use it well. Find out for yourself that Pain is part of life, but you have a choice about the suffering.

Here is a simple technique to help you: Emotional Balance by Listening

Everyone wants to be comfortable, safe, and enjoy life. Yet most people spend a lot of time struggling with worry, anxiety and uncertainty. These are all forms of fear, which create stress. Yoga offers many tools like posture, breath and meditation to calm the body, mind, and emotions. But you can go beyond just managing stress to resolving it at its source, by simply sitting down and talking to your fear.

As uncomfortable as tense muscles and churning thoughts can be, they are not the problem. Anxiety is a wise friend, simply bringing your attention to the problem. Ignoring anxiety or just living with it keep you from seeing whatever it is that has disturbed your well-being. Whether that is immediate physical danger, the threat of a past trauma, or the anticipation of future harm, fear gives you access to the wisdom and inner-guidance needed to bring you to peace.

So spend some quality time in the counsel of this friend.

-Sit still and breathe deeply.

-Let all bothersome worries and concerns come forth. Calmly feel it all.

-Ask the feelings what the exact threat is. Ask again until it is specific and clear.

-Then ask this inner wisdom what will take care of this for you.

This simple way of working with your fear usually brings immediate relief, just by paying attention to the sensations. Try it regularly as a form of meditation, or as part of your practice.

You may discover stress-releasing truths such as, “I see that actually everything is just fine right now”; the fear was leftover or habitual. Permanent peace requires remembering and using this “updated” information.

Other times you may see something that needs to be said or done to regain or remain in your comfort zone. Take action on that valuable information, then your fear will leave you alone until it is needed again.  In this way you will one-at-a-time clear up all the accumulated disturbing situations in your life. When they are clear, you experience a deep peace called Soul.

Human life will always bring challenge and change. Consciously use your natural fear response as a message to come back to inner peace. It will help you solve all the small stuff. And from the vast perspective of Soul, IT’S ALL SMALL STUFF!

Anger- it’s how you stay safe and handle everything this big world brings. You’d be dead without it! Anger is a form of personal power, it’s the fire in the belly that burns food into movement and gets things done. Anger isn’t good or bad, it’s how you use it. History, including yours, is an education in the use of anger/power, which we experience in 3 forms: weakness, force, and flow.

Weakness:  Repressed Anger

You first learn about anger through its absence. Believing you have no power, you are taken advantage of and unable to take care of yourself. Without the energy of anger you’ll feel weak, incapable, helpless, victimized, and hopeless. But this lifeforce is always present. When repressed it emerges as resentment, passive aggression, and self-defeating behavior.

Safely access anger-power by strengthening your navel center with yoga, martial arts, exercise. Befriend it in therapy and meditation. Use it to express needs, make requests, and set healthy boundaries. Power and protection lie in using your voice, making choices, and taking action.

Force: Expressed Anger

From the first “No!” in the “terrible two’s” to the cruelty of tyrants, the discovery of Force is followed by the learning process of its use and abuse. Expressed as rage and violence, it damages and destroys. But harnessed as determination and drive it motivates effective action and accomplishment. By trial and error we learn that anger channeled into empowerment brings protection and peace. Learn to process it consciously by understanding what is bothering you, what you need, then taking action to handle it.

Flow: Higher Power

Conscious use of power brings high levels of wellbeing, contentment, and generosity to serve others.  Gratitude and humility follow, leading to the experience that power is not yours, but moves through you. Allowing the universe to take care of things brings access to the power that moves the galaxies. It cannot be gained by force, but is awakened by acceptance and trust in life’s flow.

What have you learned about anger/power in your life’s study? Using it ever more skillfully brings the ability to thrive within life’s challenges, and the ability to fulfill your purpose. That freedom is the magnificent gift of Anger. Use it wisely!

Do it Now! – Meditation for Eliminating Deep Inner Anger

Recommended reading: Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins