Guilt arises before, during, and/or after accidents and actions that require your review and correction. It is dark and debilitating to feel you are wrong and bad, so guilt is used by yourself and others to punish, as if more suffering makes the wrongdoing right. More pain is not the price of freedom. Guilt departs when it achieves its purpose: that realization, mending, and correction have taken place.
The purpose of guilt is to bring to your awareness when you have caused pain, and to remedy that. Mistakes happen, even really serious awful ones. Each one holds within it the potential to learn, heal, and prevent the same next time. You compare the mistakes guilt points out with the way you would like things to go.
You constantly have choices to create happiness and success or suffering. So mistakes and their corrections are simply designed to help you shorten the time it takes to learn what works best for you to get what you want, which is ultimately more than anything you can fight for – it is Peace! Nature is both a fair and patient teacher, we may make the same mistake a thousand times until we see that way that results in well-being all around..
Learning from Guilt
Here are some prompts to help you work constructively with Guilt.
- First center yourself for a few moments with eyes closed, deep breathing to initiate safety, sensitivity, and clarity.
- Now allow memories of mistakes, accidents, and harm, whether to you or by you. See the judgments, voicing of good/ bad, right/ wrong.
- Review the consequences: stern voices and faces, scolding, blaming, yelling, hitting, silence, distancing, removal of love, freedoms, and privileges. How much anger was present? See all the punishments.
- Allow all thoughts and feelings: Blame, Guilt, Remorse, Self-Hatred, Vindictiveness, Unforgiveable, Undeserving. WRONG.
- Fully allow the feelings. When you feel stabilized, ask these wise feelings:
- What harm was done, the real harm to objects, to others, to myself. If the message is from another, assess the actual damage to them. Then ask the damage to you. What needs to happen to make it right for them? For you? Is there a larger lesson to be learned here?
- When you hear the voice of your soul through these feelings, a new and better way will be born. You will be reborn!
Solutions may include repairs, amends, boundaries set for yourself and others, higher standards to be met.
The Big Lesson from Guilt
Destruction is part of the life cycle. Mistakes are made, things are broken. Accepting this process, even from our own hand, as inevitable and healthy so that new and better things can be born; this allows us to enjoy the flow of our trial and error learning process without feeling bad or suffering. Improvement through learning rather than revenge and punishment is the better use of Guilt.