Looking for Love
Love is a basic human need only surpassed by physical survival and safety. So It is very common to go out and try to get love. Yet feeling without love, not having enough love, not the right person or in the right way is as common with the relationship “haves” as it is with the “have-nots”. Life is lived going around hungry all the time.
But love is not manufactured somewhere and in short supply. It is more like the background radiation pervading the universe since the Big Bang. It is always everywhere and within everything. Experiencing it is your own natural condition. Like soft music in a noisy scene, it is always available but not felt – unless you pay attention.
It’s easy when you have a perfect lover, kind friends, supportive family to help discover all this within you. But even they are not always available, or show love the way you like it, or have a bad day and say a hurtful word. That a thought or changing mood can seem to start or end your feeling of love reveals your role in whether it is available. In other words, YOU control the love you feel, and it is available in unlimited supply. So there is always a way to feel love. When another person connects you to the feeling, it is then occurring totally within you.
Here are three conditions that will help you feel love.
- Clear the pain. When you are hurt, afraid, angry, distracted, numb or in any great amount of pain, these will be felt stronger and louder; love can’t get through to you. Whether it takes one thought or 20 years, you must clear up the noise, relax, pay attention, drop your guard and stop running long enough to feel love.
- Get the help of a love catalyst, something that triggers love in you. Observing a kind person, giving love to an animal, taking in a sunset, sun on your face, a warm bath…take these as signs that there is love in the universe for you. Feel loved by the green trees, the fact that you are breathing. You can’t fake this; find what does it for you.
- Let it in. Lack of love can be an expectation and a habit. It may take practice to allow the warmth of love to pass through your chest and flow through your body. Do it as a meditation until it feels normal, and practice with people too!
When you clear the pain and distractions that absorb your attention and block love from reaching you, when you seek love not in limited ideal ways but everywhere, and when you accept the immense gift of that experience of the entire universe and you yourself in a sea of love, it is so there for you.