Archive for Grief

Burned Out? Sadness & Depression Want to Help

Burned Out? Sadness & Depression Want to Help

Problem: Feeling Sadness, Depression, or Burn Out.
SOS Solution: Let these emotions help you to let go and renew.

Many of us are living at wit’s end, and just can’t stop. We live in a very ambitious caffeine-driven stimulus-intense time. Many feel guilty, lazy or unworthy when they are not busy and productive. We all want to be happy and full of energy, but life requires a balance of up time and downtime.

Depression and Sadness (Grief) come to bring some much-needed letting go. To let them help you, first you must know the difference.

The high-energy emotions, Fear, Anger and Desire dominate our cultural presentation with (masculine) power and push. When we live out of balance, our system overrides that drive with low-energy emotions like Sadness (Grief) and Depression.

These two feel similar at first and are commonly mistaken. Both take away energy, to help you look inside yourself for answers rather than outside. To allow their help, first accept rather than resist them and the low energy they bring. Trusting heavy emotions takes time, but give it a try. Next, you must know the difference in the two.

Depression arises when something is not working and demands that you not care, not even feel for a while so you can surrender and gather rest and renewal. When you do, hope and the will to go on based on your true motivations naturally return. The ultimate gift of Depression is to let Life take care of everything, the spiritual status of Surrender (as distinct from giving up).

Sadness arises from loss and change and demands that you go deep into your heart. Penetrate the pain to find the deepest longing of your heart as a basis of your motivation. It’s gifts are to reveal love and reverence, what’s truly important to fill your heart.

Both will come when you are off your path. Both take away your outer ambition and drive you inward to find what’s essential and important. Both ask you to let go of something smaller in order to find something greater. Both require you to be real, see your truth and let go of anything that prevents you from living true to what really matters to you.

You can easily check which of these is needed. In your low-energy state, relax and focus. Try truly not caring, giving up, not as a weakness but as a choice, as a path to freedom. Freefalling brings fear until you find that you can fly. You’ll be able to tell if this work with Depression is what is needed.

Or, go deep into the pain in your heart. You can handle it. Beneath the hurt you’ll find a sweet longing. Listen in the heart. It will achingly tell you its demands for your fulfillment. Again, you will know if this process of working with Grief is the way you need to go.

Both of these emotions bring messages from your soul, offering to take you beyond your enslaving thoughts to find your truth. There you will find a place full of Peace, Love and completeness. It’s no struggle to be you. The key is trust in these feelings, in yourself, and in the universe…one step at a time.

The Purpose of Grief

The Purpose of Grief

When things change; When something is lost or dies; When you are heartbroken, sad, and lonely, pining for the past, longing for what you miss; When the hopes and dreams you have set your heart on look like they won’t happen; Or when you need to get cozy and quiet to get in touch with your heart, to mend your wounds and care for yourself . . .

Grief and Sadness slow you down and bring a soft energy that allows you to look deep inside and feel what is most important; to know what you need to be complete and full; to move forward to getting it; to be able to adapt, change, and flow; to constantly renew and grow. Grief ultimately opens your consciousness to love and reverence for all things that come and go.

Impermanence: Change Is the Only Constant
In the time it takes you to read this sentence, about 5,000,000 cells throughout your body will die, while new ones are being born. After you die, other lives will be created and destroyed. Coming and going is the continuous, unavoidable nature of this universe. Yet the urge of any individual life is to be permanent and survive. We seek safety and stability in the known and unchanging, therefore we cling to what was. Grief is the gift we are given to make peace with this conflict between what is and what we want.

Adjusting to Change and Gaining from Loss
Your ability to let go of what was, adapt to change and move forward is a vital life skill. To love fully and then let go when it’s time; to accept the vulnerability of an open heart; to find completeness when that which awakened your heart departs… these are the bittersweet lessons life demands. Thankfully, we have Sadness and Grief to teach us. How to listen to these feelings to and find love within loss?

There is a natural process to work WITH the wise, natural energies of Grief. It starts with an attention-getting pain that focuses you on what was lost; in this way, Sadness reveals what is important to you. Realizing the effect on YOU and what you gained from the object of your loss allow you to continue to enjoy the gifts it brought you. You can’t keep people and things, but you can live with the permanent imprints they leave on your heart.

Specialness of All Things – Not Just One
When you identify and relate to the underlying impact an object has on your experience, those feelings are available to you in countless other things. A flower has beauty, fragility, freshness;  it might also bring you Hope or Love. These qualities are not just held in that one flower, but in all flowers, in all  things if you are open to feeling them.

With the loss of a close loved one, you may think that all love and joy are gone with them. It’s true that you’ll never have those exact experiences again, but effective grieving will leave you grateful for and enriched by the person. You will be able to enjoy the same level of happiness that the person helped you rise to, while going on to find new and different- and possibly even better-ways to experience joy.

Next week I’ll invite to to try this out in a guided meditation. Please ponder these things, then we’ll “Get to the Heart of Grief.”

Good Grief!

Good Grief!

Grief is good. When you feel sadness, loneliness, regret, your heart is open, strong and caring. It hurts, yes, and you don’t like that pain. But have the courage to dive deep into that heartache which is demanding your attention. Hidden beneath the bitter feeling is a bittersweet longing that reveals what matters most. Your awakened heart can then show you where to find it. When you listen.

Every person you ever see has felt and will often feel their heart pierced by the loss of things held dear. Nothing can stop CHANGE on the physical plane! Sadness is terribly humbling; we feel weak and vulnerable in our need for love and connection, even embarrassed by our longing. But take heart and be proud of your tender hearted, big hearted, broken hearted self. Otherwise you’ll be cold hearted, dark hearted or closed hearted.

We live in a world largely lost to the art of heart-directed guidance. We normally let the wandering mind lead us through life, comparing and competing, following its changing whims. But the heart is the Searchlight, beaming out to illuminate the source of our individual contentment.

You can’t stop the painful pull of your soul when it, through loss, points to the naked truth, its demands your fulfillment. What you can do is tearfully follow where it leads, find your way to gratitude for the gift that was given and taken away. Recognize the life-enhancing qualities it brought you, and that how it enriched you remains ever with you. Then it’s safe to release it as the temporary one-and-only source of your satisfaction. This is the process called Grief.

Will you take 15 minutes to dive in and try it?

Follow this simple guided meditation to experience the Good in Grief.

Exercise: Get to the Heart of Grief

What We Found in Grief

What We Found in Grief

The online Emotional Liberation Class has spent the month of August finding the gifts of Grief. Here are some of their stories to help you do the same:

Quite a week! I didn’t realize how big Grief and Sadness are for me. In this week’s meditation good memories that I had forgotten arose first. There WAS some good in my hard childhood. I reclaimed some beautiful parts of myself that were buried. Then I faced the pain. I broke down with sadness and crying for the losses, Since they occurred i just never stopped and allowed myself to go into that, deal with it and clear it . This is the biggest thing I’ve needed to address to be happy. Hard, but I Trust this work.  I wasn’t wanting to let go of some treasured pain. When I did? Overwhelming love and empathy for myself! It was beautiful, warm and painful all at the same time. It’s okay to let go of it now. – D. S.

I’m still exploring this emotion and don’t think I’ve really come to terms with it yet. It seems so much bigger than I would have thought at first. I wouldn’t have even thought that I was living with that much grief, but every loss experienced in my life has left a mark. I have been avoiding acknowledging that. It occurs to me that because I assume everyone has experienced loss and so my loss is not “special”, that I have somehow tried to dismiss it thinking it’s not that important. But the more I get into it I realize the sweetness within it, the happy memories, the cracking open of the heart space. Even though there is a longing of things that are missed, at the same time there is gratitude of having made a connection at one time and how connected we all are. C.L.

I did this week’s grief meditation yesterday – WOW! I think I actually cleared up the grief and anger surrounding my religious upbringing and my relationship to God and all religions in one fell swoop. I had a major, major, breakthrough. I am absolutely taking this on as a 40 day practice. These last few weeks have seen HUGE breakthroughs and shifts and I am so, so grateful.  – Kerri

Wow – this meditation on Grief had such an impact. I went into unresolved issues with my parent’s divorce – i left the session lighter than ever. I decided to see the positive; to bear the pain, feel it as joy. The pain is love. Enjoy the pleaseure and the pain life brings. So wonderful to feel. I have noticed that once I got facile with sadness, whenever I feel sadness coming on, I just breathe, relax, open my heart, and just start feeling love and at times reverence. The feeling of sadness is showing up to allow me to experience love – so why not just go there and enjoy it. Is this cool, or what?  – Cliff

This week lots of losses in my life came up during meditation. I didn’t know that I’m so sad. There is till the sadness about losing my job, and my family being distant. But I noticed that I’m now enjoying cooking and gardening which were such a burden when I was working. Something was lost and something else gained. My grief was so big, I went to all the seven stages; from disbelief through anger and hope. Now I noticed that I’m not fighting my sadness, I just stay in it and observe it. I’m feeling stronger and more in to my teaching and personal practice – Barbara