Desire & Addiction
Longing, Yearning, Attraction, Craving, Obsession, Insatiability, Addiction ( and their polarities: Aversion).
You have Desires because you have needs. If you can read them you can feed them and Be Satisfied, Content, Fulfilled.
You know desire by its burning pull toward the pleasure of what you want and the repulsion away from what you don’t want.
With desire, you have likely experienced the two great misuses of any emotion. When it is ignored or denied, it grows and gets stronger. When indulged and acted upon directly without discrimination, it can control you, ruining health and happiness.
Here is a technique to make your desire understood. Get clear and calm with awareness on your deep breathing. Allow the mind to complain about whatever is bothering you. Become a kid in a tantrum. What’s the candy that will make the baby stop crying? Imagine yourself getting anything you want, and let it satisfy, calm, and make you happy.
If your need was in fact that you were hungry, then actually eating is the solution to your desire. If there is a deeper need such as feeling unloved, food will not quench the fire. Any act of love like petting your cat or taking a warm bath will satisfy the true need. With clarity of the actual need, you can now take care of it. You’ll be amazed how a second choice or “close to what I want” will satisfy.
This approach will handle a surprising number of problems that arise when you have thoughts that stop you from getting what you need. Habit of scarcity, honor in poverty, righteous suffering, desire as evil, feeling spoiled and indulgent, demonizing of wealth or ease, guilty pleasure, noble sacrifice, undeserving. Any of these thoughts will leave you hungry when you could just as easily eat!
Skillful use of Desire requires two keys; understanding the true need then taking care of it in the best available way. Knowing and fulfilling your needs, you are never needy; you take care of yourself, which leads to satisfaction and fulfillment.