Shame and Self-Hatred
Embarrassment, Perfectionism, Disgust, Not Good Enough.
Shame reveals the condition of your self-worth, drives you to accept yourself and serves to raise Self Esteem through and Self-Love.
You not only feel everyone is against you, but you join them in that negative judgement and abandon your own sweet self.
The genius of Shame is that it brings you from the ignorance and illusion that we are lost, awful, and alone to the delight and enjoyment of your most pure excellent self, through the process of self-awareness and self-acceptance that it demands as the price to release you from its suffocating grip.
Some sources of Shame:
- Memories of giving or receiving abuse, cruelty, being ridiculed, ostracized
- Strong Feelings of Humiliation, Being Unclean, Unworthy, Unwanted, Unlovable
- Seeing God, the World, and Others as Despising you
- Believing Life to be Full of Misery
Other Thoughts & Feelings: not enough, not belonging nor deserving, wanting to disappear or not be seen or known, self-loathing, inner anger manifested as self destructive thoughts and behaviors, desire to self-annihilate.
Guided Meditation on Shame
Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Through your breath and body and earth feel well supported, comfortable, and safe. Feel the expansive vastness of all space and all time and let that give you a feeling of power.
Recall a memory of extreme embarrassment, where you wanted to run and hide or “just die”. Let the thoughts and feelings flow. Once you settle down WITHIN the feelings you can communicate with them as wise messengers.
Here are some suggested questions to ask.
- What is the source of shame; what happened?
- Is there an external message coming from someone or another external voice such as a law, social or religious rule?
- Is there a voice from within your own heart that there is a problem?
- If the bad feeling arises from something valid that is off, name the badness, wrongness, defectiveness in you that is at the heart of it.
- Can you allow for that “error” in you while still seeing your other good and rightness?
- What does the “bad” point you away from and towards a “good” that you feel would be right? Be clear, neutral, and honest with yourself.
- Is there a correct action – a correction – you can see that feels better just to imagine it?
- Imagine yourself doing or seeing or believing that, fully play it out. How does that feel?
To finish relax, breathe deep, and reside delightfully in your inherent Worth. FEEL THAT! The message of Shame from your Soul has done its job and retreats until needed again to further polish and clarify your essential diamond nature.