Find a Space to be Fragile

These thoughts continue the theme of valuing and embracing the power of becoming softer. We looked at creating space for satisfaction and contentment in this ambitious world. Just like fish which may not distinguish water because it is all that they know, I don’t think we realize the extent to which we live in a very aggressive survival-of-the fittest world.There is tenderness to be found but it’s not what gets you to the top, what makes winners, right? The world wouldn’t exist without the dual power of the feminine, but it is certainly has been marginalized and under utilized.
So I was deeply touched by an interview on NPR of a female singing duo named My Bubba. The artists speak so softly about the need for us to have a space in our life to be fragile and silent. Their tender speaking voices and sweet  music embody the truth of their message better than I can describe.(link below).

So many of us face constant incredible pressure of our job: deadlines, put-downs, demands, competition and fear of all kinds of threats and aggression. For many there’s no relief at home where stress is high, overwhelm is the rule. There is no safe harbor in what ought to be a safe sanctuary. Too often our closest connections are the most painful.

Kindness, understanding, love, support, tenderness and the ability to relax and feel safe, both alone and with others are very real human needs. We are incredibly resilient to stress, but we also do have a very fragile side physically and psychologically. Think of it not as weakness but rather that there is part of you that’s more like fine china, beautiful and deserving of care.  Like a snowflake, timelessly perfect while easily ruined. Or like one of those Tibetan sand mandalas, exquisitely sacred but easily blown away. Like you, these deserve to be valued, honored, treasured and cherished, not carelessly or cruelly neglected.

Do you have places in which you are treated like that? Enough time for it? People who give you that? I hope so. If not, you can create it now. It’s important to train others to treat you well but it all starts with you. Self-value, self-respect, self care.

Please, please, please find the conditions you need to feel safe and relaxed enough to unwind and un-hide your soft and gentle side. Suggestion: wake up early in the morning when it’s still dark, or perhaps you find early evening or late night most peaceful. Sit in a sweet space and meditate with yourself. Create that inner space where you can be fragile, feel your heart, talk tenderly to your soul, and feel the love. Do this often and see how very strong you become!