We are all a lot like Goldilocks. We sample to discover what we like by experiencing a lot of what we DON’T like. We learn compassion by being hurt and by hurting. We (hopefully) come to moderation by experimenting with excess or scarcity. Life is a comparative study in which getting it wrong is as important to our progress as getting it right. We explore between extremes to find our sweet spot.
This can be intentional, but is more often more like stumbling around bumping into people and things rather randomly. So right now, today, you find yourself in a mixture of situations. Some are too passionate and involve things getting broken, like Goldilocks’ porridge and chair. Or you learn how it is to go cold and passive, withdraw, and allow mistreatment. We have enough days and experiences in a lifetime to try EVERYTHING.
But most of us specialize; we get stuck in one extreme for a long time rather than moving on toward a more suitable equilibrium. Some remain habitual givers and become exhausted and resentful. Others make a permanent niche as takers, demanding and ungrateful which leaves them empty and lonely. Any imbalance will cause a fall. THE GIFT OF EVERY BAD EXPERIENCE IS TO MOTIVATE YOU TO FIND A BETTER ONE.
SO DON’T GET STUCK. When you feel bad, let that open your awareness to what is not working. Is the problem about too much or too little of a thing? Too fast, busy and overwhelmed? Slow down, take time, and make space to live. Stuck, sad, bored, unmotivated? How can you bring their opposites: heat, stimulation, energy, spirit? See for yourself that behind each problem are some excesses or shortages. Food, sleep, time, skills, ego, love… Once you ID the resource, look to both external and inner means to increase/ decrease it. When balanced, the problem will begin to resolve.
That shift to center may feel foreign, extreme, uncomfortable, risky and even impossible from where you have been operating. Don’t run back to safe but ineffective ways. Try this stretch into new thinking and behavioral territory awhile and compare how it works. Don’t give up too soon in the early “getting used to it” stage, which can be clumsy and uncertain. Software upgrades take some time to get used to, but worth it to have a better operating system.
Every life, great or small, has it’s own Sweet Spot.
Use the nature of polarities: Too Hot – Too Cold – Juuust Right …
to find the life you love.