Resolve Not to Resolve
It wouldn’t be New Year’s without resolutions, right? But how did you fare last year when you resolved to stop a bad habit? Sometimes, the more you try to deny a desire, the more it increases, the more you want the thing (a drink, food, an unhealthy relationship). On top of that, unfilled “wants” can bring up Anger, and judgement of desires creates Shame. So, this year, instead of trying more and pushing harder, try a softer approach: resolve not to resolve!
Think about the great masters who enjoy freedom from the constant seeking of pleasure that drive most of us. They have desire but it is for things as they are. When there is no striving for or resistance to things, life flows. Peace is possible under any circumstance.
Most regular folks do have desires and we do need them! Every day there are a million things we need just to stay alive, plus a whole lot more to thrive. Desire can lead to contentment and fulfillment, but what do you do when you can’t move forward on a resolution or a promise to yourself or someone else? Sometimes the best strategy is surrender.
If you don’t think you can, you don’t know how, you can’t find the power or the way, if you are stuck or frustrated, this is the time to stop everything. When you lose energy, interest, motivation, you can reevaluate your beliefs and approaches, an even break old patterns. Letting go of the old restores your energy and allows you to see life with new clarity.
So if you are feeling the blahs, the blues or lethargy about the past year and anxiety or frustration about prospects for the year ahead, don’t resist or grasp. Honor and allow it all. This brings release and relaxation. As with all low energy emotions, there is a fear of being engulfed if you surrender. But emotion is energy in motion, it moves things and then moves on. The SOS Method is about learning to trust your emotions. By being willing to feel bad things, you gain confidence to go into the darkness. We find the light that always rises.
If you are ready to find out what you really want, or don’t want, in 2016, then try this: Get peaceful, do some long deep breathing, then allow yourself to really feel what you are feeling. You can ask the emotion the following questions:
- What do I need to know or do?
- Is there something I could let go of that would help me?
- Am I ready to deal with or change something about my circumstances that will bring me relief?
- Do I just need to relax and restore?
- Can I feel a sense of confidence that everything will be taken care of?
Remember, Surrender breaks you free from attachments and outdated ambitions that no longer serve you. It brings rest and renewal. Ultimately, it connects you to the source of all power. It teaches you to let go and let the universe do the work.
In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao (the Way), every day something is dropped.
Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action.
When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.
True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way.
It cannot be gained by interfering.
-Tao Te Ching, 16