Hannah (we’ll call her) came to me with a problem that many parents face. Her son had always been sweet and kind. But now, at age 13, he’d become disrespectful and verbally abusive. This made her mad, and she didn’t like how she is angry she was getting right back at him!
Hanna had a big history with anger and outbursts stemming from childhood parental abuse. She realized that her son was beginning to display the same behavior that she grew up with, and that she and her husband had also long related to each other with angry arguing.
She wanted help managing her anger, but I could tell there was a self-esteem issue stemming from being put down and yelled at as a kid. How she felt about herself was a deeper issue, which the anger was trying to help by fighting to be respected.
So we went to work using Senses of the Soul. I love seeing the stunning results of using emotions consciously and this was a particularly powerful example!
I had Hannah close her eyes and breathe deeply until she felt strong and clear. Then we let Hannah’s anger arise while she maintained her clear self-awareness. I asked her to ask her anger what it wanted? She immediately felt the answer, RESPECT!
At this point tears were streaming down her face from both the burning need for respect and the life-long pain of not feeling it. Bad enough she missed it from her parents, but now her son was joining the disrespect party. Then, true to the SOS method, I asked her to ask her feelings what she needed. She heard the answer immediately within herself, “Self-Respect”.
When she came out of the meditation, she explained what she had realized. She didn’t need to fight with her son, which did not build respect at all. “I just need to begin by respecting myself.” Wow, she could give herself what she had been wanting from others! The benefits were obvious and immediate!
I love this story because it says so much about what we are really capable of when we let our emotions help us. I hope you know and use your emotions whenever you need to. There are lots of resources at Senses of the Soul.com to help you become more emotionally intelligent, including a full Emotional Liberation course, I hope you’ll join me. If you are in pain of any kind or are looking for emotional upliftment, I encourage you to check it out. The link is here and below.